Without wantin’ t’ hurt feelin’s or insult religious beliefs, and even though Pirates can use one of many, or simply many religions and swap what they belief in, depending on context, apparently, we Pirates also be associated with a major religion … T’ Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster
The Flying Spaghetti Monster presents the new gospel
According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are “absolute divine beings” and the original Pastafarians. Their image as “thieves and outcasts” is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact “peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will” who distributed candy to small children, and adds that modern pirates are in no way similar to “the fun-loving buccaneers from history”. Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19. Ghost pirates are also believed to be responsible for all the mysterious lost ships and planes of the Bermuda Triangle.
The inclusion of pirates in Pastafarianism was part of Henderson’s original letter to the Kansas School Board. It illustrated that correlation does not imply causation. Henderson put forth the argument that “global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s.” A chart accompanying the letter shows that as the number of pirates decreased, global temperatures increased. This is akin to the suggestion from some religious groups that the high numbers of disasters, famines and wars in the world is due to the lack of respect and worship towards a deity.
In 2008, Henderson has interpreted the growing pirate activities at the Gulf of Aden as an additional empirical support, pointing out that Somalia has “the highest number of Pirates AND the lowest Carbon emissions of any country.”
So its not chorizo I pillage and plunder for. It’s pasta!!! To stop global warming … May t’ Great Noodle Be Praised!
Separate from the obvious dangers coming from either only using inductive thinking or only using deductive thinking, a larger danger lurks here for any pirate fleet, if pirates were to truly believe in any of the religions they swap in for diplomatic reasons, depending on context.
Of course the FSM (may his name be praised) is behind it all for pirates. And “Talk like a Pirate” is also included. We may believe that all resources on this world have our name on it. After all, we inherited this world, and if we just take what is ours by right in that lawless world, we can all increase our personal power and the power of our tribe, then apparently it did have our name on it.
Who cares who we take it from? We have our special connection with the FSM (that others do not have), so who will stop us? We are entitled, more than others. We are The Chosen Ones!
And theocracies produce gullible players: Sitting Ducks!